Working together almost always requires compromise. It allows both parties to move forward instead of moving backwards or coming to a complete standstill.
Both Should Be Winners
In a marriage, there should never be a loser. That is why there is compromise in a marriage. Give a little and win a lot.
You both want to go out Friday night, but one wants to hang out with friends while the other wants to go to a movie with just the two of you. Both can’t have their way. For each to demand their way means no one gets to go out that night. Both lose. Not fair at all. Both should win. What movie did you want to see? Is it new to theatres or about ready to leave? Are friends in town only for the weekend? Give in to go to the movies if it is leaving the theatres or you have put it off many times before. Go out with friends if they are only in town once during the year. Next weekend do the other. One’s desires just get postponed a week but not for good.
Pick Your Battles
A very wise woman once told me, when it came to raising kids, that you need to be careful and pick your battles. Not everything needs to be fought over and won today. That can be said for marriage as well.
You might have issues with your spouse that need to be addressed, but do you really want to bring up five different issues at once? How would you feel if your spouse did that to you? More than likely, you would be a little upset. You want to pick your battles.
Let me give you an example. My husband and my children are ADHD. You cannot give them too many things to change or put on their to-do list. It overwhelms them. You have to pick one thing to work on and then move to the next item. The same can be said about marriage. Don’t try to fix everything at once. Fight for only what you need at that moment and what cannot wait.
Having a huge fight over which restaurant to go to is not as important as how you treat each other. Don’t waste your energy on the little things.
It’s Not Forever
Giving up going to the movies Friday night doesn’t mean you can never go to the movies again. It’s only temporary. Compromise is usually just for the moment in order to move forward.
Both parties of the marriage have to realize that give and take is continual. Give tonight. Take tomorrow. A little here and there helps to prevent the marriage from becoming stagnant. When you compromise, give in for now and renegotiate later.