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Why Are We so Afraid of Disagreeing

What is going on with mankind? Why do we always have to argue? We can’t seem to disagree without fighting. Turn on the TV and watch the arguing over any topic. Even on the Internet, arguing is a favorite pastime with most people. But the arguing in today’s world is unproductive. It is full of anger that never seems to rest. People can’t agree to disagree. They are afraid of giving an inch. There is too much fear of disagreeing.

What Are We Disagreeing About?
Maybe we should be asking what we don’t disagree about. The list would be shorter if anything was on it at all. I have seen people argue over the weather and what the temperature is. I’ve seen them argue over cooking and education. We haven’t even hit the bit topics of religion or politics. Arguments are ensuing over the smallest things.

Nothing Wrong in Disagreeing
Let me start by saying that there is nothing wrong in disagreeing with someone. If we all agreed about everything, life would be boring. We can dislike vanilla while others love it. We don’t have to be on the same page with everyone.

What I notice is that people are shocked when others aren’t in full agreement with them. Then they get even more upset that they can’t change your mind. You have to agree with them. Why? What is wrong in disagreeing with other people? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We can disagree without getting dramatic.

What It Means to Agree to Disagree
Disagreeing means you have different opinions and ideas. That is why we have so many different flavors of ice cream, more than one political party, multiple sects of the same religion, and different genres of books and movies. There are different kinds of chocolate, fruit, and even toilet paper. That is the result of people disagreeing on points. What is wrong with variety and difference?

Why I Say There is Fear
You might be wondering why I say people are afraid to disagree. I say they are afraid because they get angry so easily. They are shocked and angry and will even end a relationship because they disagree over something minor. They don’t know how to

What’s Behind the Fear
If disagreeing is okay, why is there fear in that? Why do we have to have people agree with us? There is that fear of being alone in our opinions and tastes. People in today’s world do not know how to disagree and still remain friends. They fight. They argue. They dramatically tell the world of why they feel wronged because someone disagreed with them. Disagreeing has become a death nail in too many relationships.

I watch people around me. When they find out someone likes a different political figure, they immediately begin to yell and degrade the other person. They become nasty to others and even rude. Fear rules them.

Respecting Others is the Key
You can disagree with others and still have a good relationship. All you have to do is respect them as you disagree and even afterwards. That means not being hateful or demeaning.

My husband was having what he thought was a healthy debate with a family member. Then the other person called him stupid because he didn’t agree with him. That’s when my husband walked away. There was no sense in continuing the conversation once it had broken down to name calling. Nothing productive comes out of that. Respect caused my husband to look at the other person with disappointment.

I have people get mad at me because they found out I didn’t like a certain book or TV show. I have had them get mad because I have different traditions than they do. Different opinions produce fear in those who cannot respect others. But we all don’t have to be like that. We can each change how we disagree. All you have to do is remember that the other person has the right to their opinions. In your mind, they might be wrong opinions, but they have the right to have them. Keep in mind that they think your opinions are wrong too. Do you like them getting angry at you? Then stay civil with them and stay friends.

There is nothing wrong in disagreeing. See it as a way to spice up life and see topics from different perspectives. Push the fear aside and embrace your differences.

Written by

Writer for ten years, lover of education, and degrees in business, history, and English. Striving to become a Renassiance woman. www.writerrebeccagraf.com

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