You Are How You Drive
You have to admit that there are a lot of different types of drivers out there. There are the ones who try to push you off the road so they can get their gallon of milk. There are the ones who drive slow enough so that they don’t crush any wayward leaves. They are out there. And it scares me to death!!!!!
Over the years I’ve wondered why some drivers act the way they do. I get irritated, fearful for my life, and downright confused. Then I noticed that the people around me drove the same way that they do everything else in their lives. It was just on the road instead. Now I was beyond scared. Let me introduce you to some of them I have met over the years (names have been changed to protect…me).
Mr. Distracted — This person might be listening to you speak and then the TV catches their eye and they slowly turn away from you and fixate on the screen. They seem to be incapable of doing more than one thing at a time. When they get on the road, they are doing great until they see the funny painted silo in the field next to them. As they look at it, the car moves in the same direction. Only a shout, a horn, or the “reminder” bumps on the side of the road bring them back to looking straight ahead. When they want to talk to the passenger next to them, they turn their whole body to address you while speeding down the road at 65 MPH. (This is in no way talking about my father or my husband in case anyone was trying to guess.)
Mr. Deliberate — This person takes their time getting ready for work or going out. They listen intently when someone speaks. When working on a project, they focus on it and learn every detail. Behind the wheel of the car, they drive very deliberately. They pay attention to everything around them. They might not be the quickest on the road but you know that they are not reckless. (This is in no way talking about my father-in-law.)
Ms. Satisfied — This person rarely takes chances. They probably have the same meals and do not like to try anything new. They go through life the way they are and are completely satisfied with it. This person behind the wheel goes no more than 1 MPH under the speed limit, takes the same route, and doesn’t care how the other drivers react to them. They are satisfied just getting somewhere safely and you will not find them taking many self-imposed detours. (This is in no way talking about my mother.)
Ms. Go With the Flow — This person can be easily influenced by others. They find themselves going along with the crowd more often than not and seem to enjoy it. Behind the wheel, they go slow when the traffic is slow and they drive 90 MPH when everyone else is going 92 MPH. They have a tendency to scare a few passengers who are not too sure of their motives. (This is not talking about a friend of mine.)
Ms. Security — This person might take a few chances here and there, but overall they like to be safe and secure. If something scares them, they avoid it almost fanatically. Behind the wheel, they avoid all potentially scary places: interstates, semis, or congested areas. When they inadvertently end up in these situations, most shorts need to be changed afterwards by all. (This is not talking about an aunt of mine.)
Mr. Consistent — This person is pretty predictable. They have their wild moments and their calm moments but over all they are very consistent. If they like to watch a certain TV show in a certain manner, they will only watch it so. If they like their food prepared a certain way, they will only prepare it that way. In their driving, they tend to find a comfortable speed limit and stick with it. They go 55 MPH in a 65 zone AND in a 35 zone. They will find the route they like and they stick with it no matter how much longer it takes them to get to their destination. (This is not talking about my uncle.)
Ms. There is a Reality? — This person is very opinionated. They automatically assume that everyone around them thinks the same way. How they feel at that moment is understood by everyone. Reason is not something they are familiar with. Behind the wheel, they belief that it is perfectly acceptable to do whatever they need to do at that moment to reach their goal. When caught, they are in total shock that the officer would be so picky when they are going 50 MPH in a 25 MPH school zone. They had to get to work, why couldn’t the officer understand that? (I am not describing a friend at all.)
Ms. Manic — This person goes through life in a chaotic tornado. They don’t know which end is up and time means nothing to them. They are just on the go and in all honesty not sure where they are going. The speed of their day changes drastically but most of the time is a very fast passed life because there is so much to be involved in. Behind the wheel, the only time they go below 70 MPH is when stopping 5 feet before a stop sign. They do slow down around a sharp curve since 65 MPH is easily done there. They have permanent indentions in the arms rests of all passengers due to the speed of their lives. (My sister is not even in my head at this point.)
Ms. Destination Matters — This person goes through life with blinders on. They see their goal and they head toward it. If you get stepped on, you should not have been there. If they have to rearrange your schedule to accomplish it, the goal is what matters. In their driving, they are going to the store. If you are in the car next to them screaming for help because the driver is abducting you with a mask and a gun pointed at you for all the world to see, they will not see you. You are not the store. If you are in the lane next to them and they have to get over, you will accommodate because there is the store. ( I am not describing my mother-in-law at all in no way shape or form.)
Mr. Take a Chance — This person loves adventure and will try anything at least once. They experiment with proven techniques just to prove them as proven. They live life on the edge and have about 20 lives to live. Behind the wheel they rack up speeding tickets, go down roads that have never seen a vehicle with 4 wheels, and loves to see what is around the next bend of the very steep narrow road on the side of a tall, tall mountain. People with weak stomachs usually avoid their cars. (I haven’t thought of my brother in months when I wrote this.)
Ms. Perfect — This person never makes a mistake throughout their day. They are always prepared and nothing seems to rattle them. Behind the wheel they never give anyone a fright, never weave when sleepy, and go exactly the speed limit. When you ride with them, there are no complaints. (In an effort of modesty, I’m trying to keep myself out of this.)
As you can tell, the way you drive says a lot about you. So when you see a driver and the way they maneuver down the road, you know how they will be in the workplace, family life, and all other interactions.
(P.S. Anyone know how to get into the witness protection program?)